since his penis came between us

It was a wonderful world

The picture too was bright

There was so much to do on a Saturday night

Plenty of talk during commercials

Sometimes even popcorn in bed

I've been a model provider

You must admit to that

A lovely rented bungalow

Two terrific little cats

Is there something that I might have missed

You haven't heard a word I've said

Since his penis came between us

Since his penis came between us

Well I don't mean to seem angry

But I'm a bit taken back

What did you say his name was

Oh my god, it's not Jack?

That scoundrel's gonna' get a talking to

Tomorrow at the coffee machine

It's always someone you know

In this case my best friend

How could he do this to me

We just played golf last weekend

I've got news for Mr. So-and-so

He won't be teeing of with me

Since his penis came between us

Since his penis came between us

Let's play a little game

Is it bigger than a bread-box

Or shorter than your maiden name

Is it as high as an elephants eye

Is it like mounting some great white steed

I mean this thing you have for him

Shall we say - need ?

Let's turn off the lights, love

It's time for bed

Oh look, there's Johnny Carson

If you rather watch instead

I'm glad that we could have this little talk

Goodnight, and pleasant dreams my love